Now That She's Gone
by Aki Kaede
Summary: [Oneshot] Now that she's gone, what's left of me? Now that she's gone, what am I to do? AsuCaga


Author's notes: Another AsuCaga fic from me!

I actually started on this fic a long time ago. But due to the HUGE school work and tests and exams and whatever crap, the progress was very slow. Put in the lack of angst mood and it made the progress even slower... But now I finally finished it!

This fic was inspired by the song of the same title by JJ Lin.

Thanks to all my reviewers!

Enjoy this fic and please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed/Destiny or any of its characters.

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Now That She's Gone **

Athrun sat down at his table, his eyes looking far across the distance. It was obvious he was thinking of something else that was not in his room.

In his mind, he drew an image, an image of a goddess. Her shoulder length blonde hair fluttering in the wind, her stunning amber orbs, her beautiful smile. It was then Athrun felt a sharp pain stab his heart. The image of the goddess shattered. Piece by piece it fell, with him trying in vain to retrieve all the pieces.

"Cagalli…" Athrun let out without thinking. Cagalli had given him up. She had returned the ring to him. He stared at the object on the table. She was gone, gone from his life, gone from him forever.

_**Girl you know I miss you so **_

_**I didn't know you had to go **_

Athrun missed Cagalli badly. He missed her bright smile, he missed her hearty laugh, he missed her cute pout whenever she got angry, he missed her soft hair which he loved to ruffle, he missed her shining eyes which he always thought were the most beautiful in the world. Most of all he missed her. He wanted her by his side again. Athrun believed he could be by her even as she stood by her beloved nation. However she left him for Orb. She did not ask him to stay like before.

_**You've had enough of our distance baby **_

_**Before I had the chance to say **_

_**I'm staying with you **_

_**For the rest of my life **_

All Athrun wanted to do after the second war was to go back to Cagalli. He did not want another moment without her. The ring was still shining with its red stone. He brought out a box and opened it. Inside it was another ring. He had intended to use that to propose to her after seeking her forgiveness. Athrun wanted things to go back to how it was before, the loving relationship which they shared. However, it was too late. Cagalli felt that they have drifted apart too much, and there was no point in carrying on their romantic relationship. She had taken off the ring he gave her before he left for PLANTs. She had decided that it was too much for her to handle, especially with her huge responsibilities. Cagalli returned the ring to him, with the words: "Good luck with Meyrin. Goodbye."

_**Don't keep telling me these words **_

_**You don't know how much it hurts **_

Those words hurt him like no other. Athrun thought Cagalli might have misunderstood the relationship between him and Meyrin, so he sought her out to explain everything. However, she made it clear she did not misunderstand their relationship. Cagalli knew Meyrin had something for Athrun, therefore she felt that she could take good care of him, which is something she never could do. It was difficult for them to be together, the second war proved that. She smiled, a smile mixed with sadness but also with a kind of lightness in it. Cagalli then said the words again, the words which would stab his heart repeatedly every time he thought about them.

_"Good luck, goodbye."_

_**And I'll promise you eternity **_

_**If you promise me your stay **_

_**But now it's too late **_

_**I'm no longer the man that I was **_

Athrun was one who will not give up so easily. If only Cagalli would change her mind, he would stay with her forever. He was already prepared for the commitment no matter how steep the slope he had to climb. This time however, it was too late. Cagalli had given up on him totally. Athrun became a shadow of himself. He tried to do anything and everything, just to forget her. Even with everything he did, he still felt empty. It was more accurate to state that, he was emptied. Her memories lingered around him no matter what he did.

_**I will go on without her **_

_**Like a fool who's too sure **_

_**I'm like a bird who's lost her wing **_

_**A fire without its flame **_

Athrun tried to get on with his life, in another way, without Cagalli. He tried, very hard. Moving on aimlessly on the road without an end. He stared at the bluebells at the corner of his room. Some girls had given it to him, commenting that he was as beautiful as a girl. Blue was the colour of his hair, and they meant humility. He was very capable yet humble, and therefore it suited him perfectly. Athrun gave a chuckle. If only they knew how right they were. The bluebells always hung with their head down. Like them, he probably would never be able to lift his head again. His eyes would always be downcast, searching for the meaning in his life while indulging in his self-pity. The glamour, the good looks, is all just a façade. Athrun gave a laugh. The real Athrun is a fool, a fool incapable of doing anything right.

_**I don't know how to be strong **_

_**When my love has to move on **_

_**I am a song without a soul **_

_**Now that she's gone **_

_**What's left of us is this song **_

Cagalli have moved on without him, so should he. Yes, she had moved on. Athrun knew that very well. However a part of him wanted to deny this fact. He did not know how to be strong without Cagalli by his side. She was his very source of courage and strength. He lost himself entirely, he threw himself away. Athrun picked up the ring on the table. He studied every aspect of it carefully as it glistened under the light. The memories of the days they spent together came running back to him. He had not forgotten Cagalli. His brain frantically sent those signals, but his heart refused to accept them. Athrun could finally take it no more. He clutched the ring close to his heart and began to cry out loud. Freely, his tears fell. He had suppressed his emotions for a long time. He did not allow them to fall. He wanted to show that he was strong. He wanted to show a man could take things in his stride. He wanted to show that he had moved on. Apparently, he had failed to do so. He failed miserably.

_**This is our song without a soul **_

_**Now that you're gone **_

**_What's left of us is this song_**

She left him, and left him with, nothing. Just a broken promise, a broken heart and a ring that has lost its meaning. Along with her, Cagalli took his heart, his feelings, his emotions, and his soul.

_"Good luck, goodbye."_

How Athrun hated those words. Those very words stole the most precious thing in his life. However, there was nothing he could do, now that Cagalli's gone. How much he wanted to hold her, kiss her, and whisper "I love you" countless times in her ear, it was now impossible. To have her by his side, watching her every single movement and emotion, protecting her from all harm, he no longer held that right. He lost every single thing he possessed, now that she's gone.

Now that, she's gone…

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**Credits:**

**Now That She's Gone**

**Song/Lyrics/Music: JJ Lin

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Author's notes: When I first heard **Now That She's Gone** by JJ Lin, I knew I had to turn it into a fic! I even asked my friend for the song! It's a pretty nice but sad song.

Anyway enjoy this fic and please review!


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